Dellino Family Law Group
Schedule Your Consultation (206) 659-6839 Skip to main content
  • About
    • Our Team
    • Testimonials
    • Career Opportunities
    • Core Values
    • Brand Story
    • Your Consultation
    • Prepare for Action
    • Family Law Fees & Billing
  • Practice Areas
    • Family Law
    • Divorce
    • Parenting Plans
    • Child Custody
    • High Conflict/Narcissist Family Law
    • Spousal Maintenance/Alimony
    • Divorce for IT/Tech
    • Domestic Violence
    • Protection Orders
    • View All Practice Areas
  • Areas We Serve
    • Seattle
    • Bellevue
    • Bainbridge Island
    • Bothell
    • Everett
    • Kirkland
    • Lynnwood
    • Redmond
    • View All Areas We Serve
  • FAQs
  • News & Resources
    • Case Status
    • Divorce Meetup Group
    • Webinars
    • Videos
    • Podcasts
    • In The News
    • Blog
    • Scholarship
  • Contact Us
Family Law When You Need It, From a Team Who Cares. (206) 659-6839
(206) 659-6839 Schedule Your Consultation

At What Age Can a Child Choose Which Parent to Live With?

  1. Home
  2. »
  3. FAQs
  4. »
  5. At What Age Can a Child Choose Which Parent to Live With?
Table of Contents[Show]
  1. What Factors Do Courts Consider When Deciding Custody?
  2. How Much Weight Does a Child’s Preference Carry in Custody Decisions?
  3. Does the Type of Custody Affect the Child’s Say?
  4. Can Custody Orders Be Modified Later?
  5. What Happens if a Child Refuses to Visit One Parent?
  6. Get Help Choosing When a Child Can Decide Where They Want to Live 

In most cases, a child can legally choose which parent to live with, or where they wish to live, once they are legal adults and reach the age of 18. Washington State law does not ever recognize an age when a child can choose which parent to live with. It is never the child’s choice in Washington State.

Courts may consider the child’s statements via a custody evaluation where they speak to an evaluator like a Guardian Ad Litem or Parenting Evaluator, especially if the child is older and can articulate their concerns, but it is never the sole factor in determining where the child will live.

Family decisions between divorced or separated parents are never easy. Our Seattle child custody lawyers have over 180 years of legal experience. We can help you take the right steps to protect your child and your rights as a parent. Call today to schedule your consultation. 

What Factors Do Courts Consider When Deciding Custody?

While the child does not have a direct voice in the matter, family courts consider many other factors when deciding custody. The overarching goal is always to find a living arrangement that is in the child’s best interests. Some of the things the court considers may include:

  • The child’s emotional and physical needs
  • Each parent’s ability to care for their child
  • The child’s relationship with each parent
  • A history of family violence or abuse
  • The child’s adjustment to home, school, and community

Parenting plans and each parent’s willingness to nurture the child’s relationship with the other parent are also considered. Each case is unique, and no single factor automatically decides custody or what is in a specific child’s best interests.

How Much Weight Does a Child’s Preference Carry in Custody Decisions?

Regardless of their age, a child’s preference is not a specific factor a court will consider directly. However, their voice in an evaluation may be one factor among many that a judge may consider when making custody decisions. 

Does the Type of Custody Affect the Child’s Say?

Yes, the type of custody can affect how much the child’s preference matters when deciding where they want to live. In sole custody cases, the court may choose the parent who can provide the most stable environment, regardless of the child’s personal choice.

Ultimately, the judge will determine where the child will live while considering each parent’s wishes and the type of custody, but always with the needs and best interests of the child at the forefront. 

This Is the Next Step In Your Life.

(206) 659-6839 Call Us Now

Can Custody Orders Be Modified Later?

Custody orders in Washington State can be modified when there is a substantial change in circumstances affecting the child’s well-being. A parent must ask the Family Court to review the existing parenting plan and show that the change is significant.

In general, courts do not consider changes to custody arrangements lightly. Before moving forward, consult with our attorneys who can help you understand the legal challenges and how to take the appropriate steps.

What Happens if a Child Refuses to Visit One Parent?

If a child refuses to visit a parent, courts in Washington State will want to know why. Before making a contempt finding and enforcing the custody order, they will evaluate the reason behind the refusal and whether the other parent tried to make the visit happen despite the child’s refusal.

Judges may consider the child’s age and emotional state, and look for underlying conflicts and safety reasons that the child may refuse, and the parent may decide not to follow the parenting plan schedule.

In some circumstances, courts may order counseling, mediation, or gradual visitation to address the child’s refusal. Enforcement measures, such as contempt orders, are used in some cases when one parent does not try to facilitate the visitation and there is no legitimate concern. 

Get Help Choosing When a Child Can Decide Where They Want to Live 

There are no laws in Washington State that allow a child to choose which parent they want to live with, and their wishes are not considered in custody arrangements. However, the court does consider many other factors with the intention of providing the best possible living arrangements.

As a parent, of course, you want what is best for your child. If you believe that means living with you, our attorneys can help you take the right legal steps to show the court that your home provides a safe and nurturing place for your child to grow up. 

At Dellino Family Law, we have been serving parents and their families since 2013. Call today to schedule a consultation and find out why you should work with our firm. 

Child Custody Blog Posts:
At What Age Can a Child Choose Which Parent to Live With? Most Common Reasons Why Parents Lose Child Custody

There is lots of talk about things to do to make your custody case better, but let’s talk about what you can do to...

At What Age Can a Child Choose Which Parent to Live With? Keep the Kids Out of It! Take it From the Kardashian-Wests

Be your other parent’s biggest cheerleader – even when things are tough between you. Divorce for children is one...

At What Age Can a Child Choose Which Parent to Live With? Shared Parenting – Finding the Stretch Time!

Spending time away from your kids when you first get divorced can be extremely hard. You are used to being under the...

At What Age Can a Child Choose Which Parent to Live With? Fathers Rights are on Equal Ground with Mothers in Washington State

As we enter Father's Day weekend, it seems appropriate to highlight the topic of fathers' rights in Washington State....

This Is the Next Step In Your Life.

You're ready to move forward. Meet with our experienced attorneys to understand your rights and options. We provide top-tier divorce and family law representation in the Seattle area. Complete our contact form and let us guide you. Dellino Family Law Group is here to help!

    By providing your phone number, you consent to receive automated informational/conversational SMS communications from Lawmatics on behalf of Dellino Family Law Group. Consent is not a condition of service. Message & data rates may apply and frequency will vary. Reply STOP to unsubscribe. Text HELP for help.

    Privacy Policy • Terms of Use

    FAQ Categories
    • Child Custody
    • Child Support
    • Divorce
    • Domestic Violence
    • Family Law
    • Firm News
    • Parenting Plans
    • Protection Orders
    FAQs
    What Are The Most Common Custody Schedules?
    What Are The Most Common Custody Schedules?
    Who Pays Attorney Fees in Child Custody Cases?
    Who Pays Attorney Fees in Child Custody Cases?
    Is a Step Parent a Legal Guardian?
    Is a Step Parent a Legal Guardian?
    Find Yourself a Passionate Lawyer Now!
    • Seattle Family Lawyer
    • Issaquah Family Lawyer
    • Redmond Family Lawyer
    • Everett Family Lawyer
    • Kirkland Family Lawyer
    • Sammamish Family Lawyer
    • Silverdale Family Lawyer
    • Bremerton Family Lawyer
    • Bainbridge Island Family Lawyer
    • Bellevue Family Lawyer
    FAQ
    Frequently Asked Questions
    • We provide service for all family law situations, plus help you with the personal challenges that often are part of rebuilding your life after divorce or any legal situation. We handle many cases where both family law and criminal charges are in play. We handle protection orders, whether it is getting one when you need it or defending against one when you are being falsely accused. If you are in a high conflict situation, we have been there before and we will get you through it.

    • Finding the right firm to help you with one of the most stressful situations in your life is more than a big decision – it is a huge one. We know this and take the trust you place in us very seriously. We are attorneys who will take action for you and guide you through this. Our firm was founded on the belief that there are solutions for every problem and the understanding that people are resilient and can overcome and even thrive after legal challenges. We help our clients write their comeback stories. You are more than a file name or number to us – you and your family matter. Your story matters. We believe that trust and communication are the foundation of successful outcomes in stressful times. We look forward to meeting you and learning where you have been and where we can help you go.

    • Yes. You can meet with your attorney online, in person, or by phone. We will communicate with you in a way that works for you when you need it. We believe communication is critical to any successful relationship, including the one we have with our clients. We are discreet and know it is important your communications with us should be private and confidential. We always exercise discretion in communication.

    • Yes. There are protection orders, anti-harassment orders, restraining orders, and no contact orders. The differences between these orders can be confusing. The getting the correct order when you need it can change everything. Coming to see us will help you understand the differences and what is best for you. If you were served with a protection order, we can help you understand what you are facing and defend you. Understanding the impact these orders can have on your life, your parenting time, workplace, and elsewhere is critical.

    • Many firms offer a consultation. Generally, a consultation will provide you with basic information about the law in a particular area and some comments on your situation. Our consultation goes beyond that basic information – this is a strategy session. We will discuss your cases, your feelings, your objectives, what may be possible or not possible, and possible strategies for your case. You will leave with a roadmap for your case should you decide to move forward. If you come ready to tell us your story and get information, we can help. Please read more about what to expect at your first meeting with us and possible issues to consider in advance here.

    • Paying for legal representation can be stressful and overwhelming in an already difficult time. You know you need help but might be scared how about how much it will cost you. We understand this and will work with you to understand what fees and costs you will have, how to plan for them, and how to help control costs in your case. Part of your initial meeting with us will include discussing finances. We want to know about you and what we can do to help. We will work with you if at all possible to make legal representation a reality for you. You can find more about our rates in advance of your consultation here.

    Your browser does not support HTML5 video.
    This Is the Next Step In Your Life.

    You’re ready to move forward. Meet with our experienced attorneys to understand your rights and options. We provide top-tier divorce and family law representation in the Seattle area. Complete our contact form and let us guide you. Dellino Family Law Group is here to help!

      By providing your phone number, you consent to receive automated informational/conversational SMS communications from Lawmatics on behalf of Dellino Family Law Group. Consent is not a condition of service. Message & data rates may apply and frequency will vary. Reply STOP to unsubscribe. Text HELP for help.

      Privacy Policy • Terms of Use

      Locations
      Our Office Locations
      Dellino Family Law Group DOWNTOWN SEATTLE
      1011 Western Avenue
      Suite 910
      Seattle, WA 98104
      (206) 659-6839
      Dellino Family Law Group Bellevue Office
      Skyline Tower
      10900 NE 4th St, Suite 2300
      Bellevue, WA 98004
      (206) 659-6839
      Dellino Family Law Group UNIVERSITY VILLAGE / NORTH SEATTLE
      5000 30th Ave NE, Ste 105
      Seattle, WA 98105
      (206) 659-6839
      Dellino Family Law Group BAINBRIDGE ISLAND
      755 Winslow Way E, Suite 105
      Bainbridge Island, WA 98110
      (206) 659-6839
      Quick Links
      • About Us
      • Our Team
      • Core Values
      • FAQs
      • Testimonials
      • Contact Us
      Practice Areas
      • Family Law
      • Domestic Violence
      • Protection Orders
      • Stalking & Harassment
      • Divorce
      • Spousal Maintenance
      • Property Division
      • Legal Separation
      • Estate Planning
      • Non Traditional Family
      Resources
      • Videos
      • Divorce Meetup Group
      • Podcasts
      • Webinars
      Dellino Family Law Group
      (206) 659-6839

      All information contained herein is provided for the purpose of providing basic information only and should not be construed as formal legal advice. The authors disclaim any and all liability resulting from reliance upon such information. You are strongly encouraged to seek professional legal advice before relying upon any of the information contained herein. Legal advice should be sought directly from a properly retained lawyer or attorney.

      • Privacy Policy
      • Terms of Use
      • Sitemap

      © Copyright 2026 Dellino Family Law Group.
      All Rights Reserved.

      Hennessey Digital