The Real Cost Of Divorce In The U.s.

Beyond the often harrowing emotional burden, divorce in America costs a lot of money. Attorney and court fees are one well-known factor. But that’s often just the start of divorce expenses.

This study will uncover the real and full cost of divorce in the United States. We’ll look at some significant financial ripple effects (housing changes, extra childcare, therapy fees, lost income, even the cost of re-entering the dating scene) to fully emphasize the overall financial consequences of divorce. Before we get to the financial figures, let’s look at some key U.S. divorce statistics.

Divorce In The USA: The Key Numbers

The first month of the year is the key divorce month in the United States, with conjugal tensions disproportionately reaching breaking point during the festive period. Many irreconcilable couples wait until the holiday season is over before beginning divorce proceedings in January, known as ‘Divorce Month’ in legal circles. 

And around 40% of today’s marriages will end in divorce, with the average U.S. marriage lasting 19.9 years. Strikingly, the divorce rate for people over the age of 50 has doubled since 1990 and tripled since 1960. One of the simple reasons for this is that people are living longer.

Also, for many of those getting divorced at an advanced age, it may be the end of a second or third marriage. And modern-day women are much more financially independent than they were in 1960 or 1990. Increasingly, it’s women who initiate divorce proceedings.

Overall, despite those changes, the divorce rate also continues to steadily fall across all age groups, from 4 divorces per 1,000 people in 2000 to 2.4 per 1,000 people in 2023.

In 2023: 

• Nevada had the highest divorce rate at 3.8 (per 1,000 people). 
• Wyoming and Idaho were tied for the state with the second-highest divorce rate (3.4).
• Louisiana saw the fewest divorces: (0.9 people per 1,000), while Illinois posted the second-lowest rate (1.2).
• Washington State’s rate was just slightly above the national average (2.7 divorces per 1,000 people).

The interactive map below visualizes divorce rates across all U.S. states using 2023 data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

So, we can see the frequency at which people are now getting divorced. But how much does it cost?

National Average Divorce Costs

On average, a divorce in the U.S. costs around $9,970. That figure comprises a range of divorce types, from those featuring no contested issues ($4,100) to those that go to trial for two or more reasons ($23,300). So, the more issues under dispute, the more a divorce will cost.

Some key figures include:

• The average hourly rate of a divorce attorney ($270)
• The average overall cost of a divorce attorney ($11,300)
• The average cost of a divorce featuring children ($15,500)
• The average cost of a divorce featuring alimony ($15,900).

Although we’ve already mentioned that the state average is $9,969, here are the ten states that feature the highest average divorce costs in the U.S.

1. California $14,435
2. New York $13,835
3. Texas $12,792
4. Connecticut $12,360
5. New Jersey $12,300
6. Massachusetts $12,200
7. Delaware $12,165
8. Virginia $11,584
9. Georgia $11,400
10. Colorado $11,230

These figures broadly cover ‘standard’ divorce issues. To measure the real total cost of divorce, we need to factor in many associated post-divorce issues. Individually, these issues may cost significant sums of money; if any combination is in play, the cost of a divorce can quickly become prohibitive or even crippling.

Let’s look at some of those potential post-divorce issues.

• Court-ordered counseling, such as coparenting counseling ($100-$250 per session)
• House moving costs ($500 and $800 for a self-move using a rental truck; up to $10,000 for a professional mover)
• Home refinancing costs (thousands of dollars across numerous linked services, such as application fees, appraisal fees, underwriting fees, and so on)
• Higher taxes due to deductions that are no longer jointly filed
• Health care costs to cover the other spouse
• Child care costs for services not previously needed.

It’s easy to quickly grasp the potentially grim financial consequences of a complicated divorce. As ever, it entirely depends on individual circumstances. But even factoring in the above additional costs, we still haven’t covered all the bases when it comes to post-divorce financial impact. There’s also the matter of dating.

The Cost of Post-Divorce Dating

While divorce is the end of one relationship, another may eventually blossom: for many, online dating is a key post-divorce factor. One in ten partnered adults met their current significant other through a dating site or app, with around 32% of U.S. singles using online dating.

Yet rejoining the dating circuit is expensive, with study data revealing that the average cost of dating is $213 per month. For those using paid-for dating apps, the outlay is around $19 a month on either subscriptions or one-off app payments.

A Hinge+ subscription costs $100 for six months ($17 a month); for dating app The League, that figure rises dramatically (to $400 for three months). Study data confirms that paying app fees does not necessarily reap relationship benefits, with better results achieved via in-person socializing. Despite this, dating apps still manage to pull in around $2.6 billion a year.

When it comes to dating-related expenses, men spend more than women. The biggest gender disparity regards in-person dating activities, with men spending an average $97.21 a month (compared to women’s $40.36).

Men also spend more on finding dates ($29.03 vs. $13.95) and date-night clothes/accessories ($76.08 vs. $51.40). However, when it comes to grooming and appearance, the spending disparity is much less marked ($61.22 for men vs. $59.46 for women). Overall, man or woman, it’s a considerable financial commitment. 

Yet as study data tells us, dating apps will continue to be popular among post-married singles, with hundreds of thousands of U.S. men and women divorced every year (674,000 in 2022). But why exactly do so many couples divorce?

Common Reasons for Divorce

The Center for Disease Control and Prevention carried out interviews with multiple divorced men and women to find the answer, and discovered the following eight key reasons for divorce.

• Incompatibility

65% of those queried stated that being married to a partner who was or who became incompatible was a significant reason for seeking divorce.

• Infidelity

60% of marriages end due to cheating; according to study data, 25% of married men and 15% of married women have extramarital affairs.

• Quarreling 

57.7% of those interviewed said that ongoing marital conflict eventually became unbearable.

• Financial Troubles

45% of respondents said that, while money-related issues were never the main impetus for divorce, they were a significant contributing factor.

• Unrealistic Expectations

40% of Americans feel that unrealistic expectations were their main problem: that their ideas about their marriage were unreasonably optimistic, and that, fatally, they failed to fully anticipate eventual twists and turns.

• Addiction

34.6% of individuals cited substance abuse as a serious marital problem that led to divorce.

• Domestic Violence

23.5% of survey participants said physical and/or emotional abuse were the main reasons their marriage collapsed.

• Health Problems / Weight Gain

18.2% of divorces were attributed to significant weight gain and other associated health problems.

Many of these given justifications for divorce apply to all eroded marriages, but not all divorces are the same. Some high-profile examples unfold in the public eye, and often involve eye-watering financial settlements. Here, according to Forbes, are the (very public) U.S. divorces that involved the highest settlement fees.

Most Expensive Divorces on Record in the U.S.

1.   Bill and Melinda Gates (2021): $76 billion
2.   Jeff and MacKenzie Bezos (2019): $38.3 billion
3.   Alec and Jocelyn Wildenstein (1999): $3.8 billion.
4.   Rupert and Anna Murdoch (1999): $1.7 billion.
5.   Bill and Sue Gross (2017): $1.3 billion
6.   Steve and Elaine Wynn (2010): $1 billion
7.   Harold Hamm and Sue Ann Arnall (2012): $974.8 million
8.   Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren (2010): $710 million
9.   Craig and Wendy McCaw (1997): $460 million 
10.   Mel and Robyn Moore Gibson (2006): $425 million. 

Although the settlements featured in this list are extreme examples, according to study data, income does play a broadly significant role in divorce rates.

The Income Divorce Factor

For couples living below the poverty line, divorce rates are high: 46% of impoverished married adults end up divorced. Divorce rates remain at around 40% until we reach the $200,000 threshold, at which point the divorce rate dips significantly to 30%.

Between the $200,000 and $600,000 marital income threshold, the divorce rate drops again, this time to 25%. Interestingly, once we pass the $600,000 marital income threshold, the divorce rate rises to 30%.

Divorce: The Big Picture

Despite overall falling divorce rates, statistics show that divorce will continue to be the means by which hundreds of thousands of estranged married couples officially and permanently go their separate ways. How much that costs in each case depends entirely on the people involved, their joint and individual circumstances, and individual state divorce imperatives.

It also depends on the fees charged by the specific attorneys they hire, court fees, filing fees, and so on – all of which vary across U.S. states. Then there’s the matter of children, if any are involved, and alimony, if that issue applies. Usually, the more amicable the divorce, the cheaper the overall cost.

60% of marriages end due to cheating; according to study data, 25% of married men and 15% of married women have extramarital affairs.

But even once the divorce is finalized, divorce-related costs continue. A divorced, single person may suddenly need to cover court-ordered counseling (such as coparenting counseling), house-moving costs, home refinancing costs, changing tax obligations, independent health care fees, and previously unnecessary childcare costs. Any combination of these factors can easily become a crippling financial burden.

And women, on average, are hit much harder than men: data shows that they are far more likely to compromise their own ambitions and wage-winning credentials to support a family.

And it doesn’t even necessarily end there: dating costs, which can run to hundreds of dollars a month, must also often be factored into post-divorce expenses.

So, as things stand, divorce is often complicated, drawn-out, and extremely expensive. If you’re getting married or plan to, it’s probably best to appreciate and prepare for the enormity of the potential financial burden, just in case – and fingers crossed they don’t – things go wrong.

At Dellino Family Law Group, we know that divorce is daunting and potentially overwhelming. Luckily, we’re divorce experts and can provide you with the dedicated support you need during a challenging time. Get in touch with us today for more information.