Committed Intimate Relationships

“We have been together forever! We aren’t married, but don’t I have any rights?”

Unmarried couples in Washington State do not have what some states call, “common law marriage,” but Washington courts do recognize “committed intimate relationships.” These relationships exist when an unmarried couple lives together for a significant period of time and live in what can be considered a marriage-like relationship. In Washington State, these relationships have property rights and other rights similar to those had by married couples. It is critical that you know and understand the implications of living with an intimate partner in Washington so you can either plan accordingly or know what rights you may have when a relationship like this ends. Cohabitation laws apply to all couples meeting legal requirements for committed intimate relationships, including both opposite-sex and same-sex couples.


How does the court determine a committed intimate relationship?daughter vs dad one day shell win t20 Oo6eg2

There is not a specific set of criteria or a distinct formula used to determine if a relationship constitutes a committed intimate relationship. The courts use a number of different factors when making this determination. Some of these factors (among others) may include:

  • How long was the relationship?
  • Was cohabitation continuous?
  • What was the purpose of the relationship and the intentions of the parties involved?
  • Did you hold yourself out as a couple?
  • Was this an exclusive relationship?
  • Were you registered domestic partners?
  • Did you pool resources / Did you buy property together?
  • Were you on each other’s bank accounts or credit cards?
  • Were you names in each other’s wills?

Each case is evaluated individually, but generally a couple needs to have lived together for a minimum of 2-3 years and presented/held themselves out to be in a committed intimate relationship.

Rights in committed intimate relationships:

When an unmarried cohabitating couple separates, if their relationship constitutes a committed intimate relationship as determined by the courts, their rights and responsibilities are similar to those of married couples. If a couple cannot negotiate and come to an agreement on their own, the court may need to get involved in making determinations.

The common most common issues that arise include:

  • Determining division of debts and liabilities
  • Determining property ownership rights and division of assets
    • Courts will evaluate the interest of each party and determine an equitable distribution.
  • Determining child custody and child support
    • Parents have a legal responsibility to care for their children regardless of marital status. The court aims to determine custody and child support in the best interest of the children.

Generally, property and assets acquired during the committed intimate relationship is presumed to be owned jointly by both parties. Debts from during the relationship are also presumed joint. Name on title to accounts does not determine the character and rights to the property. Even if your partner has a retirement account or a bank account not in your name that was funded during the relationship, you may have an interest in it. Likewise, they may have an interest in yours. The assets and debts will be divided in a way that is fair and equitable as determined by the court if you do not reach an agreement beforehand in the course of the dissolution of the relationship. The separate property of the parties is not subject to division.

Some of the significant differences between rights in a committed intimate relationships vs. a marriage include:

  • Couples do not receive the same tax benefits as married couples
  • There is no spousal support and no duty of maintenance when a couple separates. The court will get involved with the division of assets and liabilities only. The only exception to this is if a couple has a valid written contract in place that provides for support or maintenance.
  • Attorney fees cannot be awarded in these cases. Each individual will have to pay their own fees. Awarding attorney fees is limited to married couples RCW 26.09.140

What Can I Do?

If you find yourself at the end of a long term relationship and do not know what steps to take, you should come visit with us to discuss your options. Ending a committed intimate relationship can be emotionally and financially devastating. The process can be made much easier with help on your side. It is crucial to understand what rights you may have to assets, real property, and what steps to take to act on those rights. You also may be the partner in a position where you are wondering if the other party has a claim to what you acquired or earned during a relationship and are concerned with protecting your assets. No matter which situation you find yourself in, understanding your rights is the first step.

If you are considering moving in with an intimate partner or currently live with a partner, and unaware of the Washington law on committed intimate relationships you may be wondering what you can or should do with this information. A common option and best way to make sure that you and your partner dictate the terms of what will happen if your relationship and cohabitation are to end is to enter into a cohabitation agreement either at the onset of moving in or even after you already have. You can set forth how property will be divided and protect yourself from allowing a partner to gain a share of your property in the event of a break-up. Many couples prefer to allow their own decisions in advance to set the terms of cohabitation rather than a court, should the relationship end. Cohabitation agreements protect both parties and serve as insurance in the event that things are not on good terms or when there are questions at the end of a relationship when emotions often run high.

Legal Representation

Committed Intimate Relationship (commonly referred to in the legal world as “CIR” cases) actions are an area of law that has not every family law practitioner deals with on a regular basis or is even familiar with. Our team has handled countless cases, securing successful outcomes for our clients in settlement agreements, mediations, and at trial when needed. This is an area of family law we are passionate about explaining to our clients and in making certain their rights are protected and actualized. Many times clients will come to see us after they have met with other attorneys who have not been able to give them a thorough evaluation of their situation. We can answer the tough questions about Committed Intimate Relationships. We will tell you what you are facing, whether it is what you want to hear or not. The best tool you can have in a complicated arena like this is knowledge.

Whether you are entering into, are in the midst of, or are facing the end of a committed intimate relationship, we are here to help. Our experienced family law attorneys will help you navigate this complicated and emotional process objectively.

Dellino Family Law Group has the expertise, knowledge, and compassion to assist you effectively and collaboratively as you enter the next phase of your life. Contact us today by filling out our quick online form, or give us a call at 206-659-6839 to let us know how we can help.